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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?